I am so excited to have my husband, Chris, on again! We’ve been asked a lot of questions such as: how do we work together day in and day out? How do we live our lives and what makes us happy? These conversations are so much fun for us and we love sharing the highs and lows of our lives so far.
As you’ll soon realize, while we have our “dream” lives now, it didn’t start out that way. Let’s just say I didn’t even want to give Chris the time of day when we first met! We obviously worked things out there, but be sure to listen in as we share some of our other ups, downs and lesson-learning moments in our lives.
This episode is jam-packed with information about the fundamentals of our success and happiness (and so much in between) and we hope you’re able to leave with some helpful takeaways. Please feel free to let us know what other questions you have for us! We look forward to continuing our conversation on another future episode. Happy listening! --
• Where Chris and Lori started from and what their daily routine is
• Working through times of unfulfillment
• If there’s a right time to call your partner out when you know they have a larger calling they’re not doing anything about
• How small decisions are HUGE in the long run
• Why it’s so important to be open and connect with more people
• How to deal with people who are cutting you down or holding you back
• The definition of positive propaganda and why you need it to support your goals
• The benefits of having a healthy habits routine
• How Chris and Lori incorporate meditation and visualization into their daily lives
• How to effectively communicate with your spouse or partner
• Why it’s so important to find self-development activities that you enjoy
• What to do if your spouse/partner isn’t into self-development
• And so much more…
“Be more open and less attached than you are to the things you’re so attached to.”
“Find positive propaganda to support where you want to go and to reinforce your beliefs.”
“Even if it doesn’t feel like it, the timing is perfect.”
“You will always find what you’re looking for.”
“We are constantly chipping away at the things that will make us happy and productive in the long run – even when we don’t feel like it.”
“Our routine-driven life has absolutely 10x’d all areas of our lives.”
“I’m happier, healthier, wealthier and more fit than I was yesterday.”
“By taking inventory of all the good stuff in my life, I’m dictating the thoughts that will dictate my day instead of letting my day dictate my thoughts.”
“If you’re not doing self-development in a modality that you like, then you absolutely won’t do it.”
“You set the pace for your relationship.”
“You are responsible for your own happiness.”
“Find joy in the journey.”
“Find your happiness in the pursuit every day.” --
“Find your happiness in the pursuit every day.”
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Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
In light of the devastation that’s happening in Texas right now with Hurricane Harvey, I wanted to help in the best way I know how – and that’s through the reach of my amazing communities. As some of you may know, I’ve launched my FREE 14-Day Challenge (starts Sept. 5) and I’ve decided to link it to a donation to the Disaster Relief Fun for Houston.
Here’s how I would love for you to help… For every five people that sign up for the challenge, we will donate $1 – up to $20,000. To put this in perspective, our dream number to equal that would be 100,000.
The added bonus, you GET TO move your bodies for yourself – and for a cause. There’s nothing like getting a big dose of perspective when you realize that there are thousands and thousands of people right now who CAN’T go for a walk or play with their kids outside right now. We all have days where we don’t want to work out, but when you realize just how blessed we are to move our bodies, it definitely reframes it. And it’s not just fitness, it’s everything in life.
“We make time for the things that mean the most to us.”
Whether it’s working out, having coffee with a friend or doing extra work, take ownership of your thoughts and actions. Sometimes it’s a matter of getting really honest with yourself and switching the phrase, “I get to…” becomes “I have to…” Or instead of “I can’t…”, reframe it to “I won’t.” Pretty powerful, huh?
“The beautiful and harsh truths free us.”
Once you can acknowledge this, reframe and forgive yourself.
“Don’t beat yourself up for the things you enjoyed.”
Catch yourself, reframe, forgive and love yourself. Again, I would love if you would go right now to loriharder.com/challenge to join my FREE 14-Day Challenge. Not only will you be working out for YOU, but for thousands upon thousands of others who can’t right now. Thank you so much in advance for your help!
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Have you ever wished you were a better speaker or more at ease when talking with new people? Perhaps you’re an introvert who desperately wants to tap into their extrovert side? It may be easier than you think with a little practice and coaching.
Today’s episode is with my dear friend, David Norrie (yes, guest Angelike Norrie’s hubby), and I’m thrilled for him to share his expertise on all of the above. As a former journalist and now master networker and business coach, David shares the importance of improving on all forms of communication – from speaking or social interactions to relationships (family, friends and business). He shares so many impactful stories and we had so much fun during our conversation. I can’t wait for you to listen!
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Questions Asked in This Episode
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Quotes:
“Get turned on.”
“Become a student of observation.”
“A smile can break down barriers.”
“Turn up the best part of yourself.”
“Personality counts.”
“We’re really in the business of connecting.”
“Don’t be vanilla.”
“If you fill your life with rich and meaningful experiences, you’re going to have a lot more things to talk about.”
“Take some chances, say yes, get butterflies and figure it out along the way.”
“It’s never too late to be the person you want to be.”
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David Norrie is a Transformational Coach specializing in helping individuals tap into their personality in a way that helps them excel in both their professional and personal lives.
For the past four years, he has worked as a business coach for one of the largest network marking companies in the world. While that he saw a need for more intensive training in helping people market themselves in a social media-driven marketplace. That led to the creation of Speak Up, an 8-week interactive virtual training course which takes groups of men and women from different fields and helps them develop their stories to become better listeners as well as more influential speakers.
David has spoken to large audiences all over the country and is most passionate about God, marriage, family and capitalism.
He spent more than 20 years in journalism, most of which came as a columnist, penning articles on how to have a healthier body and relationship. He draws on humor and his experience as a husband and father to get across his message that God is indeed laying out a path for each of us and it’s our responsibility to be stewards of His message and creat a better future for the next generation.
He and his wife, Angelike, run their home-based business out of Arizona and believe that their ministry includes reaching out to couples who want to work together and coaching them on how to make their marriage coincide with their business.
Resources:
SociallySpeaking.com
IG: @davidnorrie.sociallyspeaking
Speak Up Course
http://sociallyspeaking.com/speak-up/
Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Fear. Yes, it’s one of my favorite topics and I often feel like I should talk about it more because it’s seriously something that’s there every day. Heck, it’s with us is most moments, am I right? But it’s in these moments where some of our biggest breakthroughs are made. It’s that something that you know you need, but you’re scared as hell to do it.
“What you are afraid of is a clear indication of the things you need to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Personally, one of the biggest breakthroughs for me came with the fear I had after making a significant investment in a course with Jack Canfield. My soul was kicking and screaming, nudging, okay, shoving me, toward it. Every fear that could possibly come up did and I almost bailed on my flight…but I didn’t. I joined an amazing group of people, some who were far more successful than me and realized that they had some of the exact same fears as me. What?! It gave me the power to question,
“If I can do this, what else can I do?”
Fear is just there to remind us of where we need to go. It lets us know what we’re capable of. It shows us how strong we are. It’s always there in some way, shape or form.
“I have fear present in my life at all times – I just have a great relationship with it.”
Without fear, life just doesn’t feel quite as exciting. After all, how would we ever appreciate what it feels like to accomplish our dreams without it? Hint: pretty lame.
So today, do fear a favor and say, “Thank you, fear. I don’t know what my life would be like without you.”
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Resources:
The Bliss Project
For more information, visit TheBlissProject.info
Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
I am so excited to have my soul sister, Angelike Norrie, back on my podcast! Having gone through so many challenging life events in the last couple of years, she’s here to share how her Six Guiding Principles helped carry her through them all.
If you feel out of control, this episode is a must listen. I suggest taking notes and perhaps listening twice (if you’re able) to get all the juicy goodness out of it.
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Questions Asked in This Episode
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Faith, Family, Fitness, Financial Freedom, Fellowship and Play.
Quotes:
“The pain is inevitable; the suffering is a choice.”
“If I can find order in the physical, I can find order in the spiritual.”
“If the world is moving forward and you’re sitting still, you’re going to be left behind.”
“Do at least one thing every day to move the needle forward.”
“We must make a conscious decision to create sacred space for our family.”
“If the queen doesn’t eat, the kingdom won’t either.”
“If you have a bad day, have three good ones after that.”
“Don’t underestimate the power of 15 minutes.”
“Your why is a command on your life.”
“Don’t make it so you have to carve out fun like it’s an obligation.”
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Angelike Norrie is a happily married, working mother of two adorable girls and a five-time cover model. Prior to taking a leap of faith to control her own destiny, she worked in corporate America as a sales executive, managing fortunes and people. After escaping 60-hour workweeks with extensive travel, she became an entrepreneur with a passion for nutrition, fitness, philosophy, and business coaching.
These days, instead of stressing about quotas, day care and commutes, she helps women flex both their physical and spiritual muscles through Soulutions, a multi-faceted coaching program that helps women bare their souls and regain dominion in all areas of their life. A world martial arts champion and believer in daily discipline, Angelike is the author of Life Lines, a four-part journal series for women that provides weekly inspiration, daily reflection and goal setting, all combined with tools for daily meal and exercise tracking. Using the power of technology, Angelike developed Body Soulutions, a free online monthly membership club for women who want to be mentored and coached with cutting-edge health information, fun recipes, laughter and goofiness, and strategies for building happy, balanced lives and financial stability.
Resources:
Previous Earn Your Happy podcast with Angelike:
https://www.loriharder.com/episode3/
Angelikenorrie.com
IG: @angelikenorrie
FB: facebook.com/LadyBossLiving/
Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
As many of you know, I’m in the final days of writing my book (due this week) and the act of even doing this quickie podcast was painful. It’s not that I didn’t want to record a message for all of you, it’s just that I kept thinking about all the other things I should be doing. On top of that, I wanted to make sure I was delivering an impactful message to all of you.
I was so attached to how I was going to get there that I made it way more difficult than it needed to be. So, I took a deep breath, let go of that resistance and focused on what was at the forefront of my mind...and here I am!
“When you stop living in the resistance and actually just do the thing, it’s amazing what gets done.”
It was totally the same way before my workout today as well. Gah! Just do it already (and I did)! Anyone else? Resistance pops up everywhere, but it’s up to us to use it to our benefit. I’ve realized recently that I’ve had to let go of the idea that things should come to me in a certain form. When I have set expectations and thoughts that say it has to go one way, opportunities arrived to me in a very slow trickle. But once I surrendered and let go – BAM! Tedx Talk, my book, etc. And I know because I’ve fought to remain so open, much more is on the horizon.
“Surrender to life and watch things happen.”
I hope you join me for a short resistance-releasing exercise in this episode. Even 2-3 minutes of focus can turn things around for you. When you can create a space of surrender, you will make your decisions from a much more powerful, connected place. Are you ready? Trick question – do it anyway.
What feelings do you want? What can you let go of to get you to that place? What can the resistance you’re feeling offer you? I understand that this may make you feel a touch out of control, but be open and know you’re not letting go of the good things.
“You’re not losing control; you’re gaining your power back."
How much can you let go of today to gain that power back?
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Resources:
The Bliss Habit 12-Week eCourse
For more information, visit theblisshabit.com.
Lori’s Tedx Talk: Turn Your Struggle into Strengths
Loriharder.com/tedx
The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer
Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Are you looking to find more happiness in life – especially in the present moment? Well, you’re in luck because, in this episode, Rob Mack shares some serious knowledge on how you can add more happiness into not only your life, but your relationships and career, too. Not always the happiness coach and author he is now, tune in as he also shares how his journey of unhappiness and insecurity shifted into one of peace and happiness. There are so many happiness hacks and practices in this episode – and they’re all things you can do yourself – NOW. You don’t want to miss it! --
• What’s the first step to get someone to elevate their happiness from where they are?
• What are your daily happiness hacks?
• What do you say to people who seem to repeat the same cycle over and over?
• What do you find works for people in terms of happiness?
• How do we transfer from hell (that gives us pleasure) to heaven (that gives us pain in the beginning)?
• What is your practice around self-grace?
• How do you practice being present more?
• How every relationship can enhance your happiness
• That you are already self-complete
• Why achieving future moments can happen in an easier, more enjoyable, effortless way if you’re enjoying the present moments now.
• Daily happiness hacks
• Why happiness matters and is critical in life
• The importance of listening to your own intuition and moving away from suffering toward peace and happiness
• How relaxing will give you better results
• Why letting your mind go quiet is so helpful • And so much more…
“Your happiness is your job – not someone else’s.”
“Happiness is something that’s in your hands now.”
“If you’re not controlling your present now, you’re not putting yourself in a position to control moments in your future.”
“Happiness is the most important goal in your life.”
“Happiness now makes your life better later.”
“Happiness is the highest currency.”
“Take it easy on yourself, but be consistent.”
“Through ease and effortlessness, I can achieve my goals.”
“Life isn’t about fighting the current. It’s not about making it hard on yourself. Everything you want to achieve in your life can be accomplished more quickly, more easily and more enjoyably if you just let go and relax a little.”
“Being fully present is like a master key to creating anything you want.”
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Robert Mack is a happiness coach, speaker, and author. His first book, Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment, has been translated into various languages, including Chinese. Robert is also the Celebrity Dating & Relationship Coach for the television show, Famously Single on E! He has been a featured guest expert on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show, Self, Health, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Upscale Magazine and many others. His work has been endorsed by Oprah and Vanessa Williams, among many others. Robert received his Master’s in Applied Positive Psychology (M.A.P.P.), an ivy-league degree held by only a few dozen people in the world, from the University of Pennsylvania. He currently splits his time between Miami and Los Angeles.
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
If you’re human (you all are, right?), you’ve likely had several dances with disappointment. And often those disappointments are because someone has let you down (or at least they’ve let your expectations down) at one time or another.
I know this may be difficult to hear, but the truth is that when you set expectations of others, you’re always going to be let down, and you’re never going to see the good in that person. So how do you get around this?
A recent realization I’ve made is that each person is meant to play a particular role. For example, maybe your friend, Sally, is hilarious, but she always bails on your get-togethers. But then you have another friend, who always has your back and can hold space for you when you’re upset. See how they both fulfill different roles in your life?
“Let people show up in the roles that they are best at.”
Once you realize that all friends don’t have to be ALL things you can free yourself and enjoy ALL of your relationships. Let go of your expectations!
Have you ever connected with someone only to never hear from them again? Of course you question why that is (was it something I said?), but most times it has nothing to do with you! Sometimes it’s just too much pressure for that person and they don’t want to let you down.
Go into all relationships with ZERO expectations. Don’t hold them to anything and just let them be their authentic selves.
“Release them. Free them. Free yourself.”
Instead of expecting, allow yourself to surprised. We all like a good surprise, right?
In This Episode You Will Learn:
• Why expectations lead to disappointment
• The importance of figuring out the role that different people play in your life
• How to let go of expectations
• Why having zero expectations in any relationship makes it easier
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
If you feel the need or calling to spend more time and connect with your soul, today’s heart-warming conversation with author and soulful teacher, Rebecca Campbell, is just the ticket. With an early fascination around the world of spirituality, souls and past lives, Rebecca had always felt a little “weird.” Not because she enjoyed these things, but because others were uncomfortable with it. And so from that young age, she seemingly led a double life – one that was “normal” with her school-aged friends and the other with a group of older, wise women who taught her about the healing arts and the power of intuitive arts. Rebecca always knew she wanted to create (writing, designing etc.), so following that path, she pursued the “normal” career in advertising. She had a very successful career as a creative director, but after experiencing a great period of loss, Rebecca knew she wanted to do more with all those little “soul whispers” that tugged at her heart. With the pipes and structures literally crumbling around her and navigating through her grief, Rebecca began to finally answer this calling and began to write what soon became her first book, Light Is the New Black, followed by Rise Sister Rise. She is grateful for all the life events that led her to where she is today and truly believes that this is the exact path she was meant to take. It is her hope that her story encourages you all to follow the “different path” if you feel so called – even if it happens in baby steps to reach your goals.
“The dots always join in the end and nothing is ever wasted.” --
• How did you get in touch with your inner wild woman to be who you are now? • Did you have to reframe while you were going through that journey? • What did surrendering to your soul look like? • Is there a way to answer the soul’s calling without hitting rock-bottom? • What do you say to someone who doesn’t know who they are? • How do you feel about women and sisterhood, and why is it important? • What do you when you feel like you’ve been put in a box as a “good girl?” • What has been the toughest thing you’ve had to let go of in order to step into your authentic self?
• About the importance of listening to your head vs. your heart
• How to develop a devotional and spiritual practice
• How to surrender to your soul’s calling
• Why you need to listen to your “soul whispers” and the importance of connecting to them
• The commonalities between the seasons of life and nature
• About doing work with other women in sync with monthly cycles
• The importance of ancestral roots and why you must trust your own power/intuition
• Why you don’t have to be a “good girl”
• And so much more…
“Often our soul’s calling is scary, but it was more uncomfortable and scary to stay where I was than it was to throw my life up in the air.”
“Sometimes rock-bottom moments are beautiful opportunities to just do it.”
“Alright, soul, you’re running the shop now.”
“The voice of our soul/intuition is the part of us that is linked to the entire universe.”
“Follow what lights you up.”
“When we’re inspired, when we’re lit up, we’re in our spirit and in that rhythmic flow and in that surrendered space.”
“When we connect in with our spirit, then we don’t have to work out every step of the way – we just have to move our feet.”
“In order for something to rise within us, something needs to fall away to clear that space.”
“When things are blooming, it’s just as good as when the leaves are falling.”
“If we’re trying to fit in a box, the people who ARE your people won’t be able to see you.” “Trust the wisdom of your soul.”
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Rebecca Campbell is a best-selling author, spiritual teacher, grounded spiritual mentor and soulful guide. Bestselling author of Light Is The New Black, Rebecca has guided thousands of women to listen to the callings of their soul and create a life that is completely aligned to them.
Her second book is Rise Sister Rise. In 2015, she was awarded the ‘Promising New Talent’ award by the Mind Body Spirit Festival in London. In 2016 Rebecca received ‘Emerging Voice’ by Kindred Spirit Magazine and was honoured to receive the ‘100 Women of Spirit’ award by Dadi Janki of the Brahama Kumaris for feminine leadership and spiritual service.
Drawing on her unique experience as an award-winning advertising creative director, Rebecca loves helping people tap into their creativity and lead from a place that is authentic and light up the world in a way that only they can.
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Getting 100% real with you today as I discovered that I was the recent object of someone’s gossip. Doesn’t the word alone just give you an icky feeling? Ugh, me too. And it made me want to gossip right back (which would have made me feel worse), but I didn’t.
It’s our first reaction when someone says something bad about ourselves or someone else, but it never leads to anything productive. So instead, I talked it over with my husband. Because I knew I was in a safe zone to express my feelings and talk things through, I was able to determine that I didn’t need to worry about what this person chose to say about me. I was able to let it go.
Now, this isn’t always the case, but because I’m not close with this person I knew there was nothing I could do that would change anything about the situation. And perhaps they didn’t even mean what they said in a bad way.
If, however, this was a close relationship I would have more than likely confronted this person if I wanted the relationship to remain intact.
“Gossip blocks your blessings.”
Words carry so much energy – both positive and negative – so don’t spend those precious words tearing someone else apart when you likely don’t know the full story.
“Words are either life-giving or death-giving.”
If you’re around gossip, “be the person who gossip dies with.” And if you find yourself around those who tend to gossip, realize it’s only a matter of time before you’re the subject of his or her talks. It’s up to YOU to take the high road.
“Be a gossip killer.”
Be the person who expresses their feelings and talks things out instead of building a wall or speaking untruths about others. Be the person who others can talk to and know that your words are safe with them.
I know you are all going to love today’s guest, Dave Asprey. Not only will you be in awe of his transformation story, but he shares so many useful tips and tools to help you gain more energy AND boost both the health of your mind and body.
A successful Silicon Valley tech entrepreneur and the founder of Bulletproof Coffee, Dave once weighed 300 lbs. and even though he spent 1.5 hours at the gym daily and ate a super low-calorie diet, he couldn’t budge the scale. He felt old in his young body. It wasn’t until he decided to cut sugar from his diet (and inadvertently lower his carb intake) that he lost 50 lbs. It took him another 7-8 years while biohacking and figuring out his body to lose the other 50.
Since that time and with an innate sense of curiosity, Dave has discovered and created techniques, and keys to taking control of and improving a person’s biochemistry, body and mind so they work in unison, helping one execute at levels far beyond what is expected without burning out, getting sick, or allowing stress to control decisions.
I learned and related to so much of this amazingly educational conversation and I hope you do as well. Dave’s determination and drive to discover more and more about the human body is so inspiring. I’m giddy just thinking about where his work will take us in the years to come.
Happy Listening!
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“I wanted to help a few people who were stuck like I was.”
“My brain changed and I needed new pants.”
“Eat enough food and eat the right kinds of non-inflammatory fats, and when you eat the right foods your cravings should be gone.”
“Low calorie means low energy.”
“You can be lean and look pretty good just from what you put on your plate and it’s not about eating less. It’s about eating the right things so you have enough energy and less cravings and stable hormones and less inflammation in your body.”
“Find out what the bare minimum you can do is – then do that.”
“Stop making so many decisions.”
“Any upgrade in energy = an upgrade in willpower = more energy to improve yourself.”
“Make happy, healthy, strong and powerful mitochondria and they will cause the best genes to be expressed.”
“You are not a slave to your genes.”
“Struggling is different than working hard.”
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Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof and author of New York Times bestseller The Bulletproof Diet, is a Silicon Valley investor and technology entrepreneur who spent two decades and over $1 Million to hack his own biology.
Dave lost 100 pounds without counting calories or excessive exercise, used techniques to upgrade his brain and lift his IQ by 20 points, and lowered his biological age while learning to sleep more efficiently in less time. Dave is the creator of the widely popular Bulletproof Coffee, host of the #1 health podcast, Bulletproof Radio, and author of the New York Times bestselling books, The Bulletproof Diet and Head Strong.
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook. [smart_track_player url="http://traffic.libsyn.com/loriharder/151_Why_Community_Helps_You_Through_Lifes_Transitions_with_Almost_30_Hosts_Linsey_and_Krista.mp3"]
Do you ever wake up and feel like you’ve just experienced spiritual amnesia? You know, when you take classes, listen to podcasts or do something else that lights your soul on fire only to wake up the next morning feeling…not so soulful, barely recognizing who you were the day before.
I’m here to tell you that this is normal. As one of my favorite quotes says:
“Every day is day one.”
It’s one of my favorites because it’s so true. You change on a daily basis and what happened yesterday has no bearing on today. So what made you happy yesterday, doesn’t necessarily make you happy today. And many days you won’t even know who you are…red flag!
“If you’ve forgotten who you are, you may want to reassess.”
Ask yourself, “what’s working for me. What’s not?” Are you continuing to do something because you think you should or because you think you’re going to get a certain result? Sometimes we’re so caught up in what we should do that we forget what we enjoy doing.
To ensure that I stay in this constant state of evaluation and questioning (and happiness), it’s imperative that I pray, meditate and get grateful (this is often only 5-6 minutes a day).
“Do the thing that makes you find peace.”
Get present, become aware and make time for what truly makes you happy – regardless of what’s happening that day (crazy work day, family visiting, running kids all over town). Play your favorite music that helps you get in flow. Drink that favorite cup of coffee even if you only have five minutes to have a few sips in a locked bathroom. ;-) You will find that every little bit helps to make this experience of life just a little more joyful.
What keeps you joyful and in the present?
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Resources:
The Bliss Habit
For more information, visit theblisshabit.com.
Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Time to get comfortable, take your pants off (be sure to tune in to get this reference) and get ready to listen as I talk with two best friends (and podcasters), Lindsey Simcik and Krista Williams, who you will soon feel like yours too.
With Lindsey originally from the East Coast and Krista from the Midwest, life brought them both out to California by way of New York. They met a couple years ago when a mutual friend suggested that Krista reach out to Lindsey for advice on auditioning for SoulCycle. They immediately clicked and felt that there would be an even bigger connection later on. They were right! Even though Krista didn’t become a SoulCycle instructor, she and Lindsey did create the hilarious and tell-it-like-it-is podcast, Almost 30. During this podcast, they share the life transitions they’re going through in real-time, where they’ve been and what tools they’ve used to help them get there – all while keeping it authentic to who they are and with a lot of laughs. I hope you love listening to these ladies as much as I did and that it encourages you to find those people who get you and allow you to be unapologetically who you are.
“Small decisions and small actions lead to something great.” – Krista
“We must try to be the best versions of ourselves for each transition that comes along.” – Lindsey
“Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean I shouldn’t put it out there.” – Lindsey
“There isn’t a better feeling than knowing people accept you for who you are.” – Krista
“I’m most free when I’m not focused on the end result.” – Lindsey
“If you’re wanting what someone else has, then you’re not being grateful for what you have.” – Krista
“The process becomes who you are.” – Lori
“Appreciate your potential and just do it.” – Lindsey
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The Almost 30 Podcast is a weekly podcast filled with interviews and conversation about navigating big changes and transitions in life. It’s more than being almost 30, it’s about equipping yourself with the tools, insights and inspiration to be your best self! We keep it light, we keep it funny, and we keep it real.
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Penny for your thoughts? What have you been thinking in the last week or so? List the top three feelings you’ve felt, keeping in mind it could be a combination and vary by the hour! ;) That’s how I’ve felt lately anyway.
“How you feel is how you view the world around you.”
Let’s say you’re happy. When you have a hectic day, you don’t get angry, you choose gratitude and feel blessed to be so busy. If you’re anxious or feeling angry, you can likely guess that ANYTHING will set you off (why are they chew SO LOUDLY?) and things don’t look as rosy.
Emotions don’t just appear; they need our thoughts to fuel them. So if you’re pouring gasoline on a fire, you’re going to get bigger flames or an explosion. Same with your thoughts. If your thoughts are literally raging, your emotion (and actions for that matter) will follow suit.
So how can control this whiplash of emotions on a day-to-day basis? First off, take a minute and reflect: What emotions am I feeling? Then, what are the thoughts that are fueling that emotion? Once you’ve figured that out, INSERT NEW THOUGHT(S).
Recently, I’ve had to use this reframing practice along with a little help from a mastermind friend who steered me in the right direction. I wanted to hold onto that feeling of overwhelm – book, travel, programs etc. – and darn it, I wanted to be validated for it. My lovely friend, Lindsay, wasn’t going to give me an inch though. Instead, she encouraged me to “find presence in the busier schedule.”
“Don’t rob other experiences because of one emotion.”
So since then, I’ve been super mindful of these overwhelming thoughts. And I’ve used a special piece of jewelry to keep me aware and remind me to SLOW DOWN and get in the present when those feelings come creeping back. And I encourage you to do the same.
“Make your world instead of destroying it with your thoughts.”
Is it hard? Heck yes! It does NOT always feel awesome, but we must choose to get out of victim mode. Think the most peaceful, loving thoughts, forgive for the other thoughts and move on.
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I’m so excited for you to listen and get to know green juice junkie (and so much more), Drew Canole. We could have talked for hours! He’s so connected and open with his spirituality that I felt like I was talking to a long-lost friend. Seriously, we’re both from Michigan (now in California), we’re experienced snowmobile drivers and we both take guitar lessons! And our journeys are quite similar as well. Drew had always been into fitness, but after consistently working out two or more hours a day he wasn’t getting the results/body he wanted. He soon realized it was likely the food he was putting into his body (Michigan diet = burgers, pizza and Hamburger Helper).
So it was six and half years ago, after a friend suggested that Drew try a green juice, that he decided to eliminate the junk/processed foods and also drink “copious amounts” of green juice for seven days. Loving the effects, he decided to continue on for 90 days while incorporating intermittent fasting and also documenting his journey on YouTube. He lost 40 pounds! And while his physical appearance was amazing, what’s more is that he FELT so much better. He had more energy, he felt more creative, productive and experienced more clarity in his life. Drew felt in tune with his most authentic self.
“When you get in that flow state, that energy, it radically shifts your viewpoint of every human being.”
After all, when you’re in this state, there’s no time for lack or scarcity – you just see abundance. Realizing that for some, it’s difficult to get to this state, Drew explains that adjusting your nutrition is the perfect hack to reaching this when your mindset hasn’t quite reached this point. He offers the following tips to get started on your own transformation:
Developing certain daily rituals or daily practices are also an important key to your success. It’s what grounds us and keeps us in that state of flow. Personally, I know when my sleep isn’t quality or I’m not moving my body, my creativity and motivation comes to a halt. The same goes for Drew. Below are some of his important morning visualization/meditation practices.
Now, I get it… So often a person doesn’t feel like they have the time to build in such rituals. But we both Drew and I believe you can. If you constantly think you don’t have time, guess what? That’s how it’s always going to feel. Drew himself believes that time is just an illusion. He likes to view all time as “the unfoldment of good.” He likes to frame it as constantly being in a state of bliss – tracking how much good can be done in ONE moment. When you’re in this place, time is no longer a question. Instead it seems to expand exponentially.
“The universe is like water and wants to get out of your way when you know where you’re going.”
When time (and life) is approached this way, people and opportunities are magnetically drawn to you. So take time to focus on the times you feel stress or like you have no time. Take a time out. Breathe in and as Drew suggests, “breathe out with a smile.” Notice how much lighter you feel after.
“Time slows down when you’re living in the moment.”
With this approach, it’s no wonder that Drew has attracted 80+ team members to join his team. Ideal boss alert! He encourages people to explore their spiritual gifts daily whether it’s reading a new book a week as a company or attending his team’s daily 9 a.m. meeting. He also ensures that he’s connected and creating a healthy work environment. When it comes to staying personally grounded and connected, Drew finds writing therapeutic as well as frequent spa treatments (acupuncture, cryo-saunas etc.). But it’s also been about is overall vision for his life. When he began to see that what he does every single day makes a difference, he was able to bring that vision to life. Drew wants everyone to know that a person’s vision for what they want to create in their lives is so huge and it CAN be created.
“It’s the consistent action, every single day, that’s going to be the guiding light in your life.”
How’s that for motivation? What actions could you take to today to make your vision a reality? As always I would love to hear! -- Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time. Drew is the founder and CEO of FitLife.TV, an online health and wellness media channel where he shares educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness and healing and longevity. He is also the founder of Organifi, an organic line of superfood products that was created to make healthy living easy and accessible on the go. With a community of over 3 million people, he continues to inspire and empower others to live their best life in their healthiest body through delivering daily content online.
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Are you happy right NOW in this moment? Or do you have certain contingencies that it hinges on? Are you waiting or relying on someone or something to make you happy? Whether it’s a spouse, best friend, job or goal are you depending on something other than yourself to FINALLY bring you happiness? Here’s where that gets a little tricky…
“Happiness is a choice in each moment.”
We must understand that the “thing” you’re waiting on is NOT going to make you any happier in the long term than you are right now in this moment. And that’s why happiness can be a little sticky at times. If you are relying on anyone other than yourself, your happiness level will average out to be where you are now until you decide to be happy all the time. OK, I’m realistic. I don’t expect you to be happy ALL the time. If something bad happens, feel those feelings, but don’t let them hang around too long. Often it’s as simple as waking up and CHOOSING the mood you’re going to be in. It’s all about adjusting your “default mood.” Sure, there may be some things in your life right now that plain suck. But you know what? That doesn’t mean YOUR LIFE sucks!
“Start becoming really grateful and experiencing deep gratitude for all the little things.”
If you’re looking for the good, you’ll find it. The same goes for the opposite. Instead of looking for what’s missing, look at what you do have. I still have times where I need to remind myself to get in the present and stop blaming others – unfortunately we blame those closest to us first (sorry, Chris!). And this is usually when my daily practices/rituals are off kilter (not meditating, not enough sleep etc.). Most importantly, if you find that you’re relying (blaming) on someone/something to be complete, don’t judge yourself too harshly. Recognize it and forgive quickly – you’re human! So what is it that YOU desire? What could you shift your thoughts to right now and get really grateful for? I promise that when you can step into gratitude and learn lessons along the way, the happiness will follow (and so many other great things).
“Your happiness is what attracts amazing people and things.”
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Four years ago, teaching English in Japan, Melyssa Griffin decided to start a blog to connect with more people. She soon realized, however, that this blog was becoming less of a hobby and more of something she felt called to monetize and turn into a career. She left teaching and decided to offer web design services. After a couple of years, she had created a profitable business, but she still felt a touch restless… she still felt the pull to teach and do more with MORE people.
Melyssa decided to return to teaching, but this time in a different realm. She now teaches online workshops and courses to those who want to start their own business. And one of the things she’s most passionate about is managing the online communities that go along with them.
Community has always been an important and intriguing part of Melyssa’s life and I love that she had the opportunity to compare Japanese culture/community with American culture. While she found that Japanese culture, in general, tended to be more reserved (opinions and personalities) there was still a sense of community. It was a concept that wasn’t questioned – it just was. Originally from California, Melyssa found that while the culture varied (more outgoing, more flexibility), there was one universal truth. It became clear one day as she watched a Japanese man and his child play in the park. She noticed that even though she couldn’t understand what they were saying, she could still understand the “conversation” through their body language, intonation and facial expressions. It was a deeper human connection that we ALL have.
“We all have this intimate connection that we all have to each other that has nothing to do with the languages we speak.”
With a focus on this connection and sense of community, Melyssa went on to open and close several businesses – a greeting card shop, a web design shop and blogging. While one could have felt a sense of failure around the ups and downs of these businesses, it was through this process that Melyssa made a huge realization.
“Maybe the fun of it is knowing that it will change in the future and that means you’re still growing and learning new things.”
I couldn’t agree more, and I full-heartedly believe that if you’re not changing, you’re not growing – even if that means failing full force along the way. After all, when things are uncertain you might as well explore new things, am I right? Similarly, Melyssa encourages hopeful entrepreneurs to do the same.
“Move in the direction of what feels good. Don’t overanalyze it. Don’t try to calculate it. If something stops feeling good and you know that something is going to feel better, do that and start moving in that direction.”
Melyssa hasn’t always had such a great relationship with failure. Like many, she was raised to believe that she needed to be successful and wealthy. And admittedly, those are ALL great things, but it also implied that failure wasn’t an option. Today, she’s undone most of these beliefs, but she often has to consciously spin the negatives into a positive light.
“Failure is either going to lead you in a direction to something you will enjoy or that will turn out well, or you’re going to learn something massive from that failure and that will lead to something else that’s going to be that next step for you.”
So this is all good and great, but now you may be wondering how you actually even begin to turn your passion into a career you love? For many, there’s the common excuse of not having enough time. While both Melyssa and I agree that this is often the case, we also know that there are tiny spaces of time and small sacrifices you can make to just start. Melyssa suggests to start super small, but get super clear on how and who you want to serve. From there, begin by sharing your knowledge for free. This can lead to collaborations with other entrepreneurs – and you’ll be getting your stuff out there! More tips on getting your business out there
“The more you can have your audience know you, the more you’re able to grow your business and affect people.”
One tip from Melyssa… Don’t get bogged down with the thought that it’s all been done before. Yes, it probably has, but not by YOU! When people follow you, they’ll LOVE all facets of who you are. And they’ll love your story and where you’re coming from.
“We need more voices because we need people who can deeply connect to each type of person out there.”
Of course, you’ll always have those that don’t resonate with you, but guess what? It’s OK! They’ll just find someone else who does, and you will allow room for another to follow you. But what if you get someone who just can’t keep their thoughts or dislike for your message to themselves? Although difficult and sometimes hurtful, Melyssa suggests taking a day to process what’s been said if you need to while keeping the following thought in mind:
“Happy, secure people don’t go out of their way to hurt other people.”
With this in mind, assume that all people are good. That way when you’re ready, you can respond in the most loving way possible without judgment or anger. I love that Melyssa stresses the importance of coming from a place of love and community in all that you do. If your intent is to create a business that can grow, be sure to focus on Melyssa’s three Cs – Connection, Content and Collaboration. Focus on who you can serve and what valuable content you can provide and the community will follow. -- Melyssa Griffin teaches online courses and live workshops for entrepreneurs and bloggers who want to turn their after-work hobbies into full-time businesses. A few of her specialties include list-building, webinars, using Pinterest to get organic traffic, and content marketing. She also leads an active Facebook group of 60,000 members and helps almost 150,000 entrepreneurs with her weekly emails. But most importantly, she's the mom to one wacky corgi, an expert at laughing, and a green smoothie aficionado.
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook. You can also see more at my website: LoriHarder.com [smart_track_player url="http://traffic.libsyn.com/loriharder/145_Social_Media_Strategies_with_an_Accidental_Entreprenuer_Jasmine_Star.mp3"]
Just a couple days ago on the 4th of July, I was able to take a WHOLE day just for PLAY with friends – no writing, no meetings, no worries – celebrating America’s birthday. And while initially I felt as though it may stress me out more (I am on a book deadline), I couldn’t have been MORE wrong.
Today I feel energized, more creative and honestly like I just drank about 10 straight shots of espresso (OK, let’s not get too crazy). I realized that the play is actually equally as (if not more) important as the writing, creating programs, podcasts etc.
“The play IS the work.”
It can be a bit confusing at first because while you’re “playing,” it doesn’t feel as though you’re being productive. But I assure you, you are! It’s especially beneficial when you feel as though you’ve hit a creativity rut.
“The play is productive. The play is important. The play is creative. The play is freedom. The play is expansion. The play is real connection.”
After you’ve taken the time, you’re able to come back with a fresh perspective – new eyes. Ideas abound and the world just seems…better. Am I right?
“Personally, when I play and try new things, I have so much more to say.”
Anyone else? You’re always up-to-date and relevant because you’re constantly thinking of new things and connecting. What would it look like for you to plan some sort of play into every week? Please share – I would love to hear all about it!
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Upon listening to my recent conversation with my guest, photographer and business strategist, Jasmine Star, it will become quite apparent why I felt as though we could have continued to talk for hours more. Her story (so far) will have you hooked and feeling the serendipitous pull of it (not to mention all the social media strategy knowledge she drops here). In 2005, Jasmine walked away from a scholarship to UCLA law school to follow her heart. The path led straight to her mother's bedside as she battled brain cancer for the second time. Wanting to be at her side as she fought, she dropped out of law school (fully intending at the time to go back). Praying for her mom to be able to walk her down the aisle at her wedding to her high school sweetheart, she planned a wedding in three months to ensure that this hope became a reality.
Against all odds, both her mother and father were able to escort Jasmine down the aisle on a sandy beach in Hawaii. Shortly after, wedded bliss faded into the reality and she discovered she was jobless, broken, and desperate to follow her mom's earlier instructions of doing something she loved.
On a beach, barely a tan line on his ring finger, Jasmine confessed to her husband that she didn’t want to be a lawyer, she wanted to be a photographer. With no experience or a camera for that matter, Jasmine’s husband supported her decision. That Christmas he gifted her a camera and the permission to pursue her passion. Though not extraordinarily talented at the time, she tapped into her self-awareness, slowly building a brand and community, marketing her services, and transforming from a “doubtful photographer to a savvy entrepreneur.” Four years later, she was voted one of the top photographers in the world.
“As a byproduct of pushing through and consistently ending up on the other side, other entrepreneurs, quiet observers, are paying close attention to what you’re doing. They develop an allegiance not for the perfection, but for the sheer will to succeed.”
Amazing, right? Interview over. Kidding. I wanted to dig deeper and see just how Jasmine is able to teach her programs, keep up with her own social media AND stay inspired. The first tip Jasmine offers is that you can’t just sit around and wait for creativity to hit you like a bolt of lightning (you’ll be waiting awhile…). ;) She feels that she’s most creative and inspired when she’s working through something. Whether she’s unhappy or looking but not finding a solution – those are the moments when things tend to fall into place without evening knowing it’s happening.
“Inspiration is like a small drop, and all of a sudden you realize the bucket is filling – and that’s when you shift.”
So once you’ve locked in your passion, how do you attract your audience? Jasmine likes to create her “ideal” client by asking roughly 20-30 questions. Really tune into WHO you want to serve. Once you’ve figured that out (and this can take some trial and error), you can create content that’s specific to those followers. Jasmine often uses her own social media accounts to help her fill in gaps with her content. Keep in mind that when people comment on your posts, they often are telling you what problems they need help with. Wait now… Jasmine still monitors her own social media accounts? Yep. While she does have a small team to help, she feels it is super important for her to manage her accounts so she’s able to keep a pulse on her followers. While some struggle with the tremendous discipline and time management skills this requires, Jasmine thrives. Many days, her time is planned down to the minute. For example, her marketing is roughly planned out at 10 hours per week. That’s broken down into 600 minutes… and 20 minute increments from there (IG, FB, FB groups, hashtag follow-ups, plus an hour of research a day to keep up on algorithms and trends).
“We always have these high aspirations, but if we’re not clear on our trajectory, there’s a good chance we’re going to miss the mark.”
Jasmine also encourages entrepreneurs to add to this by making it a point to understand their audiences and bring more of themselves. If your audience likes long posts, write them, but know that unless engagement is high, the algorithms will suppress views (IG and Jasmine prefer shorter posts about 86-112 characters). Get real with your audience. Selfies do very well as do stories about your personal background. Show your workspace…let people get to see the REAL you!
“People want to see the simplicity and the grandeur.”
Lastly, Jasmine advises that it’s not all about you. Nobody watches TV, listens to the radio or surfs social media to see commercials, so don’t make all of your posts about your products or services. Instead of focusing all of your attention on selling your product or service, you must first build your followers’ trust.
“The more you show up and the more you build trust by providing valuable content, the better off you’ll be and the faster you’ll transfer them to customers.”
At the end of the day, Jasmine stresses the importance of people knowing that “you see them, you hear them and that you want to know them.” Make sure your brand is more than a website, product or business… Make your brand an experience for your customers. With a successful and ever-growing business, I think this is the perfect advice. For more tips, be sure to follow Jasmine at the links below.
Go to jasminestar.com/freestockphotos to receive FIVE free stock photos.
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Do you feel supported by family, friends, co-workers etc.? If not, we must realize that this support will not magically appear on its own. In order to receive this support, we must first support ourselves – unconditionally.
There was a stretch of time when I felt that I didn’t have any true friends... I didn’t want to drink, party all night only to feel like crap the next day, but all my friends at the time did. I wanted to be healthy and fit, but my friends chose Thirsty Thursday over healthier options. Of course, thinking I had NO other options, I followed along and my dreams continued to take the backseat. But here’s the thing, it wasn’t their fault. It was me who wasn’t willing to put myself first. I wasn’t willing to let go of those short-term pleasures. I wasn’t ready to support myself and get out of my own way. It was time to step into my fear and CHOOSE to become the person I truly wanted to be.
So I chose to start supporting myself. I had to find things, even if it meant on my own, that would help me reach my goals and practice saying no to the things that wouldn’t. For me, the most pressing need when I started this journey was my health. I gradually started making the choice to not go out and drink myself into oblivion. And it wasn’t until I did that, that I could start pursuing my fitness goals/career. What’s your most pressing need right now? What would make you feel BETTER? To get more rest, to eat better, exercise more or change your circle of friends? Full honesty… It isn’t easy.
“But if you don’t start choosing to support yourself, you have to get comfortable with the idea that you’re never going to change.”
You must ask yourself if you’re OK waking up in five years and being in the same place. If nothing changes, nothing changes. It’s scary, but you’re the only one who can do it.
“You can either choose complete suppression or face your fear.”
Face that fear TODAY! What are some ways you can support yourself RIGHT now? Is it time-blocking your calendar to fit in 20 minutes of exercise? Is it scheduling dance or music lessons? Is it reaching out to someone to be your mentor? It doesn’t matter how big or small your acts are as long as you’re ACTING. Failure is a given, but if we choose to focus on the blessing rather than each individual failure we’ll fail faster into better success.
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I’m always so excited to have today’s guest, Gabrielle Bernstein, on Earn Your Happy, but today is even more exciting because we’re talking about her Spirit Junkie Digital Master Class – the class that undeniably took my business (and life) to a whole new level.
So often when people have a pull to do something “more”, they automatically respond with, “Who am I to do this?” But really the question that should be asked is, “Who am I NOT to do this?” To nip these thoughts in the bud, one of Gabrielle’s foundational components, trains you in confidence. It’s your time to rise up and the only way to build that confidence is to practice clearing the fear and blocks from your path. One fear that comes up often is unapologetically making money while remaining spiritual.
“Earning for our great work is also a great opportunity to invest in our well-being so that we can continue to do the work we’re here to do.”
In Gabrielle’s teachings, she’s crafted her program to be equal parts spiritual and business growth and business training. She hopes to bust the myth that you can’t make money AND be spiritual at the same time.
“We have to do the spiritual work to clear the belief systems that hold us back from our earning capacity and hold us back from stepping into our light.”
Honestly, I understand this 100% because I, like many of you, was in this same position not that long ago. And it wasn’t until I shifted my way of thinking (with the help of Gabrielle’s Spirit Junkie Master Class) that my business and life catapulted to places I’d only dreamed. I was ecstatic about all the things that seemed possible to me. New opportunities were appearing, left and right!
“Change the way you perceive abundance, then abundance can flow.”
I cannot tell you how TRUE this statement is.
“When you’re in alignment with inspiration, joy, excitement and enthusiasm, you become a magnet for opportunities.”
So maybe you have the ideas, but you’re afraid that it’s already been done before. You’re right, it probably has. But that doesn’t mean the world doesn’t need more inspiration from people like you!
“There are far more people in need of that inspiration than there are people doing it.”
Just make sure that the work you’re doing lights you up from the inside out. If you’re excited about creating your content, trust and know that other people will get excited about it too. The Spirit Junkie Master Class helps you connect with the spiritual side of this process while also allowing you to get laser-focused and successful with the business component. Make sure your energy is aligned with your inspiration.
“Your most valuable currency is energy. If your energy isn’t clear, joyful and inspirational, then you won’t be a magnet for more of that.”
If you’re feeling like you have a message and you want to be unapologetic about sharing that message with the world, I highly recommend joining the Spirit Junkie Digital Master Class tribe. See the resources below to sign up and to receive a very special bonus offer from me. I could not be more grateful for Gabrielle and this course as it pushed me to the edge. She gave me richness and deep roots that gave way to the freedom to take my business to new and different places. I cannot wait to hear about the shifts YOU make because of this course as well…
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook. You can also see more at my website: LoriHarder.com
To say I was honored to have a one-on-one conversation with Danielle LaPorte is an understatement. I recently just finished her newest book, White Hot Truth, and it was just what I needed to access my freedom in writing my own book. Talking with her took it to a whole other level.
For those of you who don’t know who Danielle is, she’s an author, speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec. She is also an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” In addition to her recent book, she’s also the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul – this book also evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program. You’ve also likely seen her #truthbombs on social media.
At a glance, like many other successful people, one would not believe the career hurdles she’s overcome so far in her life. Very early on, Danielle remembers always having an entrepreneurial spirit. She was the girl running the lemonade stand and intuitively finding other opportunities to make money. Danielle once thought she would be a fashion designer, but she changed directions when she realized she got headaches every time she went to sew. From there, she began helping friends and naturally fell into being a publicist. This eventually led to the creation of her own communications agency – landing gigs in Washington D.C. pitching and selling white papers to the Pentagon. This in and of itself is an amazing accomplishment as she never went to college and is from Canada. When her work in D.C. was complete, Danielle went on to start a consultancy for soulful personal branding, which led to her first book, Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design. It got the attention of Oprah and she received a lot of media and investment interest from that. That small consultancy incorporated and soon after she was fired. While none of this made her feel great, she believes that,
“All the worst things have turned out to be my best things.”
True to her words, Danielle went on to coach entrepreneurs, author the above listed books and hasn’t looked back since. While some would let all these different events knock them down, she persevered by focusing on the reason she’s here. She unquestionably knows her why and she knows what her talents are. Danielle goes on to say, “Life happens. You tried your best and it didn’t work out…You just have to keep showing up.” Danielle also adds that you must take the time to grieve these hard times.
“When you don’t win, you need to stop, you need to cry and recover, and feel the sting and how you feel about what just happened.”
Life is hard. So just take that breather – but then come back – ready to work.
“If you’re going to be brighter and sexier and smarter and more feminine and more innovative and more progressive than the status-f*cking-quo, you’re in for a fight.”
There will always be losses, but you need to know that you walk away knowing more. You’re better. And you’re actually more yourself because of it. I love that Danielle phrases it as,
“Sometimes you need to be lost to be found.”
This is SO true. We need to go through the highs and the lows – and learn from them. And sometimes this means setting boundaries. This is easier said than done as a woman though – and not because we’re too emotional. Danielle explains that as women, we naturally want to merge and connect with people… We want to nourish and heal. We don’t want to be “mean,” and we don’t want to be a push-over either. Being tolerant can be a good thing, but being “excessively tolerant” = almost no boundaries. Danielle doesn’t expect you to do this all on your own. You need someone else to objectively tell you when your boundaries are being taken advantage of.
She goes to say that once you’ve put up that “fence” to keep those people out, you’ll find that no one died. You didn’t kill anyone. And you feel just a little big lighter. Recently, there has been some stress in Danielle’s business where she’s had to use some of the above practices. It’s comforting to know that no matter where you’re at, we all experience resistance in our lives. While she takes time to “walk in circles” and wrap her head around the problem, she also makes a point to view disappointing events in a positive light.
“I always take failure as an opportunity to reinvent.”
Danielle tells us to use these opportunities to question EVERYTHING (no, really – everything). Even through these less than ideal times for her business right now, the powerful message of her recent book, White Hot Truth, is a success. It was Danielle’s hope that people experience the book and feel relieved (mission accomplished with me). Since finishing her book, Danielle herself has more compassion for herself and for others. And she hopes that others will feel the same and then some – more self-love and self-respect, too. And once you do, Danielle encourages you to, “Get off your butt and do something – make the world a better place. The world needs YOU.”
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Do you feel like you’re living every day like it’s Groundhog’s Day? You know, same thoughts, same people, same problems… Sounds like it’s time to switch things up and add some excitement back into your life. But to do that we need to bust through fears and try new things. Of course, we can’t do that without first changing our thoughts.
To set the tone for the day, I highly recommend waking up and instantly repeating a positive mantra – either out loud or in your head. I know, I know… sounds a little cheesy, but I assure you, it works.
Every morning my husband and I say the following:
“I am happier, healthier, wealthier and more fit than I was yesterday.”
But that’s only the beginning of the day! Do small things throughout the day that keep the positivity and excitement going. Bear in mind that it doesn’t have to be anything HUGE.
“Life and enjoyment of life is made up of the very simple pleasures.”
Here are a few different things you could do:
This list could go on and on… Also, be sure you’re expanding your network – both virtually and in person. Ask a new friend out for coffee or to meet at a new workout class. And since social media has a tendency to highlight more negative things, be sure use that “block” button freely and start following more uplifting people/pages. Personally, I know that I don’t want any seeds of negativity growing in my mind, because that’s exactly what my mind will hold on to. It is SO important for YOU to weed out any potentially negative vibes. “You are the variable. You are the only one who can change your outcome.” Doing the same thing will only ever get you (you guessed it) the SAME thing. And who wants that? Certainly not me and likely not you. “If you want a different day, you’ve got to start with different thoughts in the morning.” Now, go let those thoughts lead you to THE BEST day!
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One never knows what they’re going to do when tragedy hits, but JJ had to keep it together and learn fast after one of her son’s was the victim of a brutal hit-and-run accident. With 13 broken bones and an aortic tear, doctors knew he needed surgery, but they also warned he’d likely not survive the airlift to another hospital – much less the actual surgery. They gave him the heart-wrenching odds of a .25 percent survival rate. With that knowledge, JJ had a choice to make. Fortunately, the wisdom of her other son rang through as he asked the doctor, “Point-two-five isn’t zero, right?” Those words were just what JJ needed to make the choice to help her son FIGHT for survival. After a successful airlift and surgery, JJ’s son survived, but because of the trauma was in a coma. It was a daunting road ahead, but JJ start asking herself the “right” questions. It wasn’t “how will he survive this?” It was, “How do I get him to 110%?” And one of the top things she could do to get him there was to take care of herself.
“I did what I needed to do to take extreme care of myself.”
JJ knew she had to: 1. Be there for her son. 2. Ensure her book was a success (The Virgin Diet). 3. She needed to put her health FIRST. And that’s what she did to make sure she was at the top of her game to help her son fight for his life. Not long after JJ’s son’s accident, it was suggested that in addition to the book she had just written (The Virgin Diet), she should write about her recent experience with her son – what tools she used and how she kept strong and positive throughout it all. Thank goodness she said yes to that! JJ’s teachings have come to help thousands of clients reframe their mindset and realize their worth, mind and body. Oddly enough sometimes, it’s not the diet or exercise component that hangs people up, it’s the actual saying or writing down of the words, “I am worthy.” That’s great, but how do you get someone to actually feel worthy? JJ encourages taking ACTION. It’s all about shifting your mindset and moving into action.
JJ teaches her members/readers to practice their “Daily Jam.” Upon waking up every day, the Daily Jam consists of: 1. GRATITUDE: Writing down three things you are grateful for (starting the day in gratitude is a MUST). 2. APPRECIATION: Text someone a message of appreciation. 3. MIRACLE: Write down three miracles that happen that day. And then… Write “I am worthy.” It can be a super difficult thing for some to write, but they work their way up to realizing they are a complete bad ass (and that’s how we ALL should feel by the way). JJ is completely transparent when it comes to her own case of “imposter syndrome.” We all have moments of not feeling like we’re good enough or worthy – that’s reality. There are still days where she wonders what the hell she’s doing. But then she remembers (from personal experience) that no one has it all together. Every successful person has failed their way there… in one way or another. Failure is just a part of life.
“What if fear was actually a sign that you’re stepping up onto a bigger platform and you should feel that? What if when you’re feeling nothing, it’s because you’re playing it safe.”
Fear is never easy to take… but quit playing it safe. Play ALL OUT, even if it means falling on your face.
“It’s necessary, it sucks, it’s painful, but it makes it all amazing and worth it.”
You must be willing to acknowledge the good with the bad. What was good? What were the wins? It’s about appreciating the present moment and lessons and getting real with gratitude.
“When you’re scared to death and you want to get fear shoved out of the way, gratitude shoves it and builds resilience.”
But JJ is again full honest… It never gets easier to take, but the tougher the experience, the more you step up, and the more you grow.
“If your purpose is big enough, it makes you push through. And every time you push through, you’re building that muscle of resilience.”
So on that note, know that you can handle “stuff” – whatever it is. If you set your mind right, you can reframe anything to be a good thing or your miracle. -- JJ Virgin a is celebrity nutrition and fitness expert, who teaches clients how to lose weight and master their mindset so they can lead bigger, better lives. She is author of 4 NY Times bestsellers: The Virgin Diet, The Virgin Diet Cookbook, JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet, and JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet Cookbook. Her memoir Miracle Mindset: A Mother, Her Son, & Life’s Hardest Lessons explores the powerful lessons in strength and positivity that she learned after her son Grant was the victim of a brutal hit-and-run accident. JJ hosts the popular JJ Virgin Lifestyle Show podcast and regularly writes for Huffington Post, Rodale Wellness, and other major blogs and magazines. She’s also a frequent guest on TV and radio and speaks at major events. In addition to her work with nutrition and fitness, JJ is also a business coach and founded the premier health entrepreneur event and community, The Mindshare Summit.
Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook. You can also see more at my website: LoriHarder.com
Quick…what are you thinking RIGHT now? Are they positive thoughts filled with love and gratitude? Or are they low-vibe, energy-sucking thoughts that make you want to eat a can of worms? If you’re the latter… don’t eat the worms! Kidding, but seriously, I do want to discuss the power of thoughts and how those thoughts affect your current situation.
I don’t know about you, but I’m fascinated with research – especially when it’s connected to the power of thoughts and changing outcomes. Currently, I’m reading the book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and he discusses how by shifting our thoughts from being a victim of our circumstances we can instead cause an effect that creates a different outcome. Nerd alert – I get so excited reading about studies like this.
Dispenza shares research that directly links changes in DNA to positive thoughts. Did you read that? Changes in a person’s DNA!! Isn’t that amazing?! He advises though, that it’s not just about positive thoughts. Within the testing groups of one of the mentioned studies, the changes were only seen when there were positive thoughts AND feelings that went with them.
“It’s not just the thoughts, but rather the intentions behind them.”
We have the power to change our outcomes – just thinking and feeling different things. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m realistic. We’re not all going to wake up singing happy songs and dancing, but that’s exactly why we practice rituals that help get us present and shift into gratitude.
“When you feel grateful, you attract more to be grateful for.”
If you wake up feeling crappy, I get it! Acknowledge that crap sandwich, but don’t eat it! Feel those feelings, but don’t stay there. Give yourself some time, vent to a person if you need to, but MOVE ON.
“Get rid of the thoughts that aren’t serving you, because that’s the outcome you’ll be living in.”
Quickie Tip: Don’t let the idea of changing ALL your thoughts at once bog you down. This is not an all-or-nothing approach. The next time one of those negative Nelly thoughts comes for a visit, recognize it for what it is and choose to make your next thought just a little better. It’s those baby steps that lead to the most impactful and sustained growth.
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