To say I was honored to have a one-on-one conversation with Danielle LaPorte is an understatement. I recently just finished her newest book, White Hot Truth, and it was just what I needed to access my freedom in writing my own book. Talking with her took it to a whole other level.
For those of you who don’t know who Danielle is, she’s an author, speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec. She is also an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” In addition to her recent book, she’s also the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul – this book also evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program. You’ve also likely seen her #truthbombs on social media.
At a glance, like many other successful people, one would not believe the career hurdles she’s overcome so far in her life. Very early on, Danielle remembers always having an entrepreneurial spirit. She was the girl running the lemonade stand and intuitively finding other opportunities to make money. Danielle once thought she would be a fashion designer, but she changed directions when she realized she got headaches every time she went to sew. From there, she began helping friends and naturally fell into being a publicist. This eventually led to the creation of her own communications agency – landing gigs in Washington D.C. pitching and selling white papers to the Pentagon. This in and of itself is an amazing accomplishment as she never went to college and is from Canada. When her work in D.C. was complete, Danielle went on to start a consultancy for soulful personal branding, which led to her first book, Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design. It got the attention of Oprah and she received a lot of media and investment interest from that. That small consultancy incorporated and soon after she was fired. While none of this made her feel great, she believes that,
“All the worst things have turned out to be my best things.”
True to her words, Danielle went on to coach entrepreneurs, author the above listed books and hasn’t looked back since. While some would let all these different events knock them down, she persevered by focusing on the reason she’s here. She unquestionably knows her why and she knows what her talents are. Danielle goes on to say, “Life happens. You tried your best and it didn’t work out…You just have to keep showing up.” Danielle also adds that you must take the time to grieve these hard times.
“When you don’t win, you need to stop, you need to cry and recover, and feel the sting and how you feel about what just happened.”
Life is hard. So just take that breather – but then come back – ready to work.
“If you’re going to be brighter and sexier and smarter and more feminine and more innovative and more progressive than the status-f*cking-quo, you’re in for a fight.”
There will always be losses, but you need to know that you walk away knowing more. You’re better. And you’re actually more yourself because of it. I love that Danielle phrases it as,
“Sometimes you need to be lost to be found.”
This is SO true. We need to go through the highs and the lows – and learn from them. And sometimes this means setting boundaries. This is easier said than done as a woman though – and not because we’re too emotional. Danielle explains that as women, we naturally want to merge and connect with people… We want to nourish and heal. We don’t want to be “mean,” and we don’t want to be a push-over either. Being tolerant can be a good thing, but being “excessively tolerant” = almost no boundaries. Danielle doesn’t expect you to do this all on your own. You need someone else to objectively tell you when your boundaries are being taken advantage of.
She goes to say that once you’ve put up that “fence” to keep those people out, you’ll find that no one died. You didn’t kill anyone. And you feel just a little big lighter. Recently, there has been some stress in Danielle’s business where she’s had to use some of the above practices. It’s comforting to know that no matter where you’re at, we all experience resistance in our lives. While she takes time to “walk in circles” and wrap her head around the problem, she also makes a point to view disappointing events in a positive light.
“I always take failure as an opportunity to reinvent.”
Danielle tells us to use these opportunities to question EVERYTHING (no, really – everything). Even through these less than ideal times for her business right now, the powerful message of her recent book, White Hot Truth, is a success. It was Danielle’s hope that people experience the book and feel relieved (mission accomplished with me). Since finishing her book, Danielle herself has more compassion for herself and for others. And she hopes that others will feel the same and then some – more self-love and self-respect, too. And once you do, Danielle encourages you to, “Get off your butt and do something – make the world a better place. The world needs YOU.”
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