Do you feel supported by family, friends, co-workers etc.? If not, we must realize that this support will not magically appear on its own. In order to receive this support, we must first support ourselves – unconditionally.
There was a stretch of time when I felt that I didn’t have any true friends... I didn’t want to drink, party all night only to feel like crap the next day, but all my friends at the time did. I wanted to be healthy and fit, but my friends chose Thirsty Thursday over healthier options. Of course, thinking I had NO other options, I followed along and my dreams continued to take the backseat. But here’s the thing, it wasn’t their fault. It was me who wasn’t willing to put myself first. I wasn’t willing to let go of those short-term pleasures. I wasn’t ready to support myself and get out of my own way. It was time to step into my fear and CHOOSE to become the person I truly wanted to be.
So I chose to start supporting myself. I had to find things, even if it meant on my own, that would help me reach my goals and practice saying no to the things that wouldn’t. For me, the most pressing need when I started this journey was my health. I gradually started making the choice to not go out and drink myself into oblivion. And it wasn’t until I did that, that I could start pursuing my fitness goals/career. What’s your most pressing need right now? What would make you feel BETTER? To get more rest, to eat better, exercise more or change your circle of friends? Full honesty… It isn’t easy.
“But if you don’t start choosing to support yourself, you have to get comfortable with the idea that you’re never going to change.”
You must ask yourself if you’re OK waking up in five years and being in the same place. If nothing changes, nothing changes. It’s scary, but you’re the only one who can do it.
“You can either choose complete suppression or face your fear.”
Face that fear TODAY! What are some ways you can support yourself RIGHT now? Is it time-blocking your calendar to fit in 20 minutes of exercise? Is it scheduling dance or music lessons? Is it reaching out to someone to be your mentor? It doesn’t matter how big or small your acts are as long as you’re ACTING. Failure is a given, but if we choose to focus on the blessing rather than each individual failure we’ll fail faster into better success.
I’m always so excited to have today’s guest, Gabrielle Bernstein, on Earn Your Happy, but today is even more exciting because we’re talking about her Spirit Junkie Digital Master Class – the class that undeniably took my business (and life) to a whole new level.
So often when people have a pull to do something “more”, they automatically respond with, “Who am I to do this?” But really the question that should be asked is, “Who am I NOT to do this?” To nip these thoughts in the bud, one of Gabrielle’s foundational components, trains you in confidence. It’s your time to rise up and the only way to build that confidence is to practice clearing the fear and blocks from your path. One fear that comes up often is unapologetically making money while remaining spiritual.
“Earning for our great work is also a great opportunity to invest in our well-being so that we can continue to do the work we’re here to do.”
In Gabrielle’s teachings, she’s crafted her program to be equal parts spiritual and business growth and business training. She hopes to bust the myth that you can’t make money AND be spiritual at the same time.
“We have to do the spiritual work to clear the belief systems that hold us back from our earning capacity and hold us back from stepping into our light.”
Honestly, I understand this 100% because I, like many of you, was in this same position not that long ago. And it wasn’t until I shifted my way of thinking (with the help of Gabrielle’s Spirit Junkie Master Class) that my business and life catapulted to places I’d only dreamed. I was ecstatic about all the things that seemed possible to me. New opportunities were appearing, left and right!
“Change the way you perceive abundance, then abundance can flow.”
I cannot tell you how TRUE this statement is.
“When you’re in alignment with inspiration, joy, excitement and enthusiasm, you become a magnet for opportunities.”
So maybe you have the ideas, but you’re afraid that it’s already been done before. You’re right, it probably has. But that doesn’t mean the world doesn’t need more inspiration from people like you!
“There are far more people in need of that inspiration than there are people doing it.”
Just make sure that the work you’re doing lights you up from the inside out. If you’re excited about creating your content, trust and know that other people will get excited about it too. The Spirit Junkie Master Class helps you connect with the spiritual side of this process while also allowing you to get laser-focused and successful with the business component. Make sure your energy is aligned with your inspiration.
“Your most valuable currency is energy. If your energy isn’t clear, joyful and inspirational, then you won’t be a magnet for more of that.”
If you’re feeling like you have a message and you want to be unapologetic about sharing that message with the world, I highly recommend joining the Spirit Junkie Digital Master Class tribe. See the resources below to sign up and to receive a very special bonus offer from me. I could not be more grateful for Gabrielle and this course as it pushed me to the edge. She gave me richness and deep roots that gave way to the freedom to take my business to new and different places. I cannot wait to hear about the shifts YOU make because of this course as well…
To say I was honored to have a one-on-one conversation with Danielle LaPorte is an understatement. I recently just finished her newest book, White Hot Truth, and it was just what I needed to access my freedom in writing my own book. Talking with her took it to a whole other level.
For those of you who don’t know who Danielle is, she’s an author, speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec. She is also an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” In addition to her recent book, she’s also the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul – this book also evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program. You’ve also likely seen her #truthbombs on social media.
At a glance, like many other successful people, one would not believe the career hurdles she’s overcome so far in her life. Very early on, Danielle remembers always having an entrepreneurial spirit. She was the girl running the lemonade stand and intuitively finding other opportunities to make money. Danielle once thought she would be a fashion designer, but she changed directions when she realized she got headaches every time she went to sew. From there, she began helping friends and naturally fell into being a publicist. This eventually led to the creation of her own communications agency – landing gigs in Washington D.C. pitching and selling white papers to the Pentagon. This in and of itself is an amazing accomplishment as she never went to college and is from Canada. When her work in D.C. was complete, Danielle went on to start a consultancy for soulful personal branding, which led to her first book, Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design. It got the attention of Oprah and she received a lot of media and investment interest from that. That small consultancy incorporated and soon after she was fired. While none of this made her feel great, she believes that,
“All the worst things have turned out to be my best things.”
True to her words, Danielle went on to coach entrepreneurs, author the above listed books and hasn’t looked back since. While some would let all these different events knock them down, she persevered by focusing on the reason she’s here. She unquestionably knows her why and she knows what her talents are. Danielle goes on to say, “Life happens. You tried your best and it didn’t work out…You just have to keep showing up.” Danielle also adds that you must take the time to grieve these hard times.
“When you don’t win, you need to stop, you need to cry and recover, and feel the sting and how you feel about what just happened.”
Life is hard. So just take that breather – but then come back – ready to work.
“If you’re going to be brighter and sexier and smarter and more feminine and more innovative and more progressive than the status-f*cking-quo, you’re in for a fight.”
There will always be losses, but you need to know that you walk away knowing more. You’re better. And you’re actually more yourself because of it. I love that Danielle phrases it as,
“Sometimes you need to be lost to be found.”
This is SO true. We need to go through the highs and the lows – and learn from them. And sometimes this means setting boundaries. This is easier said than done as a woman though – and not because we’re too emotional. Danielle explains that as women, we naturally want to merge and connect with people… We want to nourish and heal. We don’t want to be “mean,” and we don’t want to be a push-over either. Being tolerant can be a good thing, but being “excessively tolerant” = almost no boundaries. Danielle doesn’t expect you to do this all on your own. You need someone else to objectively tell you when your boundaries are being taken advantage of.
She goes to say that once you’ve put up that “fence” to keep those people out, you’ll find that no one died. You didn’t kill anyone. And you feel just a little big lighter. Recently, there has been some stress in Danielle’s business where she’s had to use some of the above practices. It’s comforting to know that no matter where you’re at, we all experience resistance in our lives. While she takes time to “walk in circles” and wrap her head around the problem, she also makes a point to view disappointing events in a positive light.
“I always take failure as an opportunity to reinvent.”
Danielle tells us to use these opportunities to question EVERYTHING (no, really – everything). Even through these less than ideal times for her business right now, the powerful message of her recent book, White Hot Truth, is a success. It was Danielle’s hope that people experience the book and feel relieved (mission accomplished with me). Since finishing her book, Danielle herself has more compassion for herself and for others. And she hopes that others will feel the same and then some – more self-love and self-respect, too. And once you do, Danielle encourages you to, “Get off your butt and do something – make the world a better place. The world needs YOU.”
Do you feel like you’re living every day like it’s Groundhog’s Day? You know, same thoughts, same people, same problems… Sounds like it’s time to switch things up and add some excitement back into your life. But to do that we need to bust through fears and try new things. Of course, we can’t do that without first changing our thoughts.
To set the tone for the day, I highly recommend waking up and instantly repeating a positive mantra – either out loud or in your head. I know, I know… sounds a little cheesy, but I assure you, it works.
Every morning my husband and I say the following:
“I am happier, healthier, wealthier and more fit than I was yesterday.”
But that’s only the beginning of the day! Do small things throughout the day that keep the positivity and excitement going. Bear in mind that it doesn’t have to be anything HUGE.
“Life and enjoyment of life is made up of the very simple pleasures.”
Here are a few different things you could do:
This list could go on and on… Also, be sure you’re expanding your network – both virtually and in person. Ask a new friend out for coffee or to meet at a new workout class. And since social media has a tendency to highlight more negative things, be sure use that “block” button freely and start following more uplifting people/pages. Personally, I know that I don’t want any seeds of negativity growing in my mind, because that’s exactly what my mind will hold on to. It is SO important for YOU to weed out any potentially negative vibes. “You are the variable. You are the only one who can change your outcome.” Doing the same thing will only ever get you (you guessed it) the SAME thing. And who wants that? Certainly not me and likely not you. “If you want a different day, you’ve got to start with different thoughts in the morning.” Now, go let those thoughts lead you to THE BEST day!
One never knows what they’re going to do when tragedy hits, but JJ had to keep it together and learn fast after one of her son’s was the victim of a brutal hit-and-run accident. With 13 broken bones and an aortic tear, doctors knew he needed surgery, but they also warned he’d likely not survive the airlift to another hospital – much less the actual surgery. They gave him the heart-wrenching odds of a .25 percent survival rate. With that knowledge, JJ had a choice to make. Fortunately, the wisdom of her other son rang through as he asked the doctor, “Point-two-five isn’t zero, right?” Those words were just what JJ needed to make the choice to help her son FIGHT for survival. After a successful airlift and surgery, JJ’s son survived, but because of the trauma was in a coma. It was a daunting road ahead, but JJ start asking herself the “right” questions. It wasn’t “how will he survive this?” It was, “How do I get him to 110%?” And one of the top things she could do to get him there was to take care of herself.
“I did what I needed to do to take extreme care of myself.”
JJ knew she had to: 1. Be there for her son. 2. Ensure her book was a success (The Virgin Diet). 3. She needed to put her health FIRST. And that’s what she did to make sure she was at the top of her game to help her son fight for his life. Not long after JJ’s son’s accident, it was suggested that in addition to the book she had just written (The Virgin Diet), she should write about her recent experience with her son – what tools she used and how she kept strong and positive throughout it all. Thank goodness she said yes to that! JJ’s teachings have come to help thousands of clients reframe their mindset and realize their worth, mind and body. Oddly enough sometimes, it’s not the diet or exercise component that hangs people up, it’s the actual saying or writing down of the words, “I am worthy.” That’s great, but how do you get someone to actually feel worthy? JJ encourages taking ACTION. It’s all about shifting your mindset and moving into action.
JJ teaches her members/readers to practice their “Daily Jam.” Upon waking up every day, the Daily Jam consists of: 1. GRATITUDE: Writing down three things you are grateful for (starting the day in gratitude is a MUST). 2. APPRECIATION: Text someone a message of appreciation. 3. MIRACLE: Write down three miracles that happen that day. And then… Write “I am worthy.” It can be a super difficult thing for some to write, but they work their way up to realizing they are a complete bad ass (and that’s how we ALL should feel by the way). JJ is completely transparent when it comes to her own case of “imposter syndrome.” We all have moments of not feeling like we’re good enough or worthy – that’s reality. There are still days where she wonders what the hell she’s doing. But then she remembers (from personal experience) that no one has it all together. Every successful person has failed their way there… in one way or another. Failure is just a part of life.
“What if fear was actually a sign that you’re stepping up onto a bigger platform and you should feel that? What if when you’re feeling nothing, it’s because you’re playing it safe.”
Fear is never easy to take… but quit playing it safe. Play ALL OUT, even if it means falling on your face.
“It’s necessary, it sucks, it’s painful, but it makes it all amazing and worth it.”
You must be willing to acknowledge the good with the bad. What was good? What were the wins? It’s about appreciating the present moment and lessons and getting real with gratitude.
“When you’re scared to death and you want to get fear shoved out of the way, gratitude shoves it and builds resilience.”
But JJ is again full honest… It never gets easier to take, but the tougher the experience, the more you step up, and the more you grow.
“If your purpose is big enough, it makes you push through. And every time you push through, you’re building that muscle of resilience.”
So on that note, know that you can handle “stuff” – whatever it is. If you set your mind right, you can reframe anything to be a good thing or your miracle. -- JJ Virgin a is celebrity nutrition and fitness expert, who teaches clients how to lose weight and master their mindset so they can lead bigger, better lives. She is author of 4 NY Times bestsellers: The Virgin Diet, The Virgin Diet Cookbook, JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet, and JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet Cookbook. Her memoir Miracle Mindset: A Mother, Her Son, & Life’s Hardest Lessons explores the powerful lessons in strength and positivity that she learned after her son Grant was the victim of a brutal hit-and-run accident. JJ hosts the popular JJ Virgin Lifestyle Show podcast and regularly writes for Huffington Post, Rodale Wellness, and other major blogs and magazines. She’s also a frequent guest on TV and radio and speaks at major events. In addition to her work with nutrition and fitness, JJ is also a business coach and founded the premier health entrepreneur event and community, The Mindshare Summit.
Quick…what are you thinking RIGHT now? Are they positive thoughts filled with love and gratitude? Or are they low-vibe, energy-sucking thoughts that make you want to eat a can of worms? If you’re the latter… don’t eat the worms! Kidding, but seriously, I do want to discuss the power of thoughts and how those thoughts affect your current situation.
I don’t know about you, but I’m fascinated with research – especially when it’s connected to the power of thoughts and changing outcomes. Currently, I’m reading the book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and he discusses how by shifting our thoughts from being a victim of our circumstances we can instead cause an effect that creates a different outcome. Nerd alert – I get so excited reading about studies like this.
Dispenza shares research that directly links changes in DNA to positive thoughts. Did you read that? Changes in a person’s DNA!! Isn’t that amazing?! He advises though, that it’s not just about positive thoughts. Within the testing groups of one of the mentioned studies, the changes were only seen when there were positive thoughts AND feelings that went with them.
“It’s not just the thoughts, but rather the intentions behind them.”
We have the power to change our outcomes – just thinking and feeling different things. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m realistic. We’re not all going to wake up singing happy songs and dancing, but that’s exactly why we practice rituals that help get us present and shift into gratitude.
“When you feel grateful, you attract more to be grateful for.”
If you wake up feeling crappy, I get it! Acknowledge that crap sandwich, but don’t eat it! Feel those feelings, but don’t stay there. Give yourself some time, vent to a person if you need to, but MOVE ON.
“Get rid of the thoughts that aren’t serving you, because that’s the outcome you’ll be living in.”
Quickie Tip: Don’t let the idea of changing ALL your thoughts at once bog you down. This is not an all-or-nothing approach. The next time one of those negative Nelly thoughts comes for a visit, recognize it for what it is and choose to make your next thought just a little better. It’s those baby steps that lead to the most impactful and sustained growth.
Warning: This podcast may make you want to buy a plane ticket to exotic places and find your soul. Or, perhaps curl up on your couch with a cuddly dog (both of us prefer our goldendoodles) and drink a lavender latte while contemplating your soul’s purpose. ;)
Ok, let me back the train up. Today’s guest, Rachelle Tratt, is a living example of what it means to follow your heart, and you’re going to want to read on/listen to hear why.
In case you’ve never heard of this amazing lady, Rachelle is a Los Angeles-based yoga instructor, community leader, and soulful entrepreneur who created The Neshama Project, a yoga inspired, socially conscious jewelry company that gives back.
Many may not know this, but Rachelle’s company, The Neshama Project, was actually inspired by the sudden and traumatic loss of her mother when she was only 9 years old. While recognizing now that it was all meant to be part of her path so she could in turn help others, at the time she struggled with anxiety and depression – and just feeling different.
These feelings played out as a teenager as she hit a rebellious phase, which at the age of 18 ended in rehab. It wasn’t so much that she was addicted to alcohol or drugs, it was just that she didn’t know how to cope with things in a healthy way. Part of that rehab program was yoga… While always a self-professed tomboy, Rachelle laughed at the thought of the practice, but once she hit savasana, she was hooked. For the first time in a long time, she found peace.
Not long after rehab, Rachelle became a yoga teacher and eventually ended up taking a yoga training class in California. While living in Florida at time, she knew she needed to make the move permanently to California.
“It made no sense mentally, but my heart was telling me to go and I knew how to listen to that.”
And speaking of listening to her heart, Rachelle always knew that she would visit Israel (the country where her parents meant). Six years ago, she made the trip, stayed for a month and it was everything she hoped it would be. She felt connected to her mother and while there realized the connection she also felt with the Hamsa hand necklace she received from a yoga friend. Having always been a conversation starter for soulful exchanges, it had followed her after rehab, to California and now to Israel. She knew was meant to play a bigger role in her life.
Just like that, she started searching for stones in Israel (successfully). She wanted to create art and make connections – and she did. Rachelle didn’t have all the answers, but she just knew there was a great purpose for her.
“I believed in the power of a product with a meaning that stood for something greater and the mission behind it.”
Sure, there were a lot of nay-sayers. Having always been a little “different,” everyone thought it was just “one of those things” Rachelle was trying again. Rachelle had faith and trust though that things would work out because she was following her heart’s calling.
“It’s trusting that I am a unique individual and my path isn’t supposed to look like anyone else’s.”
And thank goodness for that! It’s not to say that there haven’t been growing pains – both personal and business. We’re all constant works in progress. But when something does pop up, whether in the form of darkness, stress or anxiety, she’s learned to acknowledge it and confront it head on.
“My anxiety is directly related to the levels of my self care and self love.”
Life happens and we have to find the little tools and/or rituals that calm our minds. Here are a few of Rachelle’s favorites:
Another important factor (and this is super important) is finding a tribe/community/sisterhood that has your back. It can be tricky if you’re from a small area and don’t have as big of a pool as L.A. But she promises that,
“What you put out there is what you attract.”
So put yourself out there. Way outside of your comfort zone. Start by attending classes and introducing yourself to others. If you seem to click, schedule a time to have coffee… It’s all about using the network around you. And lastly, “dial, don’t file.” People don’t have the time for those who don’t follow through. Nurture your relationships. Does this mean you have to super close relationships with everyone? No! Find that smaller inner tribe who you know on a deeper level, that has your back and you can tell ANYTHING to.
And above all, follow your heart. Follow your soul. Follow your bliss.
*Stay tuned for a post in the hopefully very near future when our golden doodles (and us) have a dog date.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Finding rituals in your day to day
Finding your tribe
Following your soul
Retreat info: theneshamaproject.com/yoga/
Checkout my website at loriharder.com. Follow me on social media @LoriHarder on Instagram and Lori Harder on Facebook.
Today’s message is all about the journey and what it all means. The “journey” doesn’t always have to be this HUGE goal or accomplishment. The beauty of it is that it’s unique to you and it can be ANYTHING that you’re looking to do.
While most focus on the highs, it is equally important to know that the lows (the pain, frustrations and the “hard” parts) are what make the journey, and the highs of it, so amazing. If you’re feeling that discomfort, you know growth is on its way.
“You can’t enjoy the ride without first taking the journey to a place you’ve never been before.”
So you’re on this journey, but what happens when you lose motivation… Monotony hits. You wonder why the heck you’re even on this path. But you must ask yourself, what does your life look like without it? For example, as I’m racing against another deadline for my book, the moment I sit down, all inspiration seems to be lost and doubt creeps in and the last thing I want to do is write. As easy as it is to sink into that mode of defeat, I know the only option I have is to give myself a sometimes-literal shake, dig deep and WRITE.
“You have to keep saying YES and you have to keep MOVING.”
Acknowledge the struggle and how it serves a purpose on your journey. Ask yourself, “How do I get through this?” Reach out to others who are going or have gone through something similar. Know that just because it’s YOUR journey, you’re not alone. And everything you’re going through is meant for the ultimate good.
Just let go…and go with the flow and enjoy the ride.